Her spelling’s really coming along!

// October 12th, 2010 // No Comments » // Misc., Parenting, Uncategorized

Scene: Sunday 4:30pm. Very busy soft drinks aisle in Tesco Extra, Drumbrae, Edinburgh. Father (in this instance played by me), 5-year-old daughter in the trolley seat (played with determination by Rachel, 50% of the fruit of my loins), supporting cast of a dozen docile consumers.

Rachel: Daddy?
Me (expecting request for something treat-like): Yeeeees.
Rachel: How do you spell cock?

Woah! This is from leftfield and not at all what I was anticipating. I frantically scan the shelves to try and figure out what might have prompted such an unwittingly frank question.

Me: Do you mean Coke?
Rachel (loudly): No Daddy! COCK!! C (kuh), O (ohh) ….
Me (increasingly uncomfortable in these very public cicumstances): Shhh! What are you talking about?
Rachel: You know, you hit it with a racquet and it goes up in the air.
Me (slightly relieved): Oh, you mean shuttlecock?
Rachel: Yes shuttlecock …. but just cock. C (kuh), O (ohh), C (kuh).
<adopts loud sing-song voice> I can spell cock. I can spell cock!

Good Christ! I hurry from the aisle and the increasing number of raised eyebrows, picturing myself in a courtroom desperately trying to talk myself off some register.